How Can I Help You? A Poem by Ron Olsen

Desktop icons moving about on their own
Electrons rearranging themselves
How the hell did that get down there?
Email alert!
Penis enlargement!
Where did my file go?
Enlarge your penis!
But my file…
Take a pill!
Why is the Internet so loggy?
Are you big enough to keep her happy?
What’s your girth really worth?
Why do we pay more and get less?
For pills
And the web
Exceeding your allowable data for the month
Must have been Siri’s fault
Big penis!
Couldn’t be
She’s my one true friend
For at least the next four hours
Or I consult with a physician
To make it all go away

Ron Olsen is a Peabody and Emmy award winning journalist based in Southern California. He is recently retired from the Tribune Company, where he was stationed at the Los Angeles Times, working with the newspaper’s writers and editors to adapt newspaper stories for KTLA-TV. He is the author of more than one-thousand essays and an occasional poem. His essays have been published by several local papers in the Los Angeles area. He began writing poetry just recently. He says he loves the craft of saying more with fewer words, with each word playing a significant role in the piece. “I am sometimes struck by my poetry”
he says.”I’ll look at what I’ve written and wonder where it came from-some wellspring that’s beyond my understanding. What a strange and wonderful process.”

A more complete bio can be found here –
or at his blog at or his Facebook page at
Poetry Life & Times All the Babble of the Souk. Robin Ouzman Hislop All the Babble of the Souk. Robin Ouzman Hislop