I’m a marketing professional –
I am not a follower but a leader,
an influencer who tells you what to buy
and when to buy it.
Are you buying this?
I have no idea how my career came to this,
I was going to be a rockstar or a Great Writer
but if I’m honest,
it’s easier to get a job than a book deal.
Please remain calm,
we are all of us anxiety-ridden
and we deal with disorders in our own special ways,
only I can’t remember where my lighter is.
Anxiety is neither a disorder nor a state of mind,
it is a natural response to the world around us –
if you ain’t scared sometimes
then there’s reason to be worried;
your secondary school education was a scam,
purely controlled exposure to stress and prejudice
‘cause the school of hard knocks is a real place baby
inside our heads, inside our hearts,
inside our minds.
Millions of years of deterministic natural selection
coupled with the sexual behaviours of the human female
and the one bad gene passed down through generations
have all come to this, this world, this life,
these living legends trapped on the dole
trying to monetise art through nice online communities
but let me tell you this my friend,
you can’t crowdsource a cure for cancer
and your country’s budget is wasted on the arms race,
why don’tcha blow a few heads off before the banks collapse?
These anxious words are a unique celebration
never before seen in the annals of human existence,
just words that any man could write
and so why shouldn’t I?
Every soul on earth is complicit
and this indictment brings shame on us all –
we are killing the planet through our sheer stupidity,
we are destroying our most precious resources
just to watch them burn;
when the world reaches its eventual destruction,
who, then, will lead the applause?
Dane Cobain (High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, UK) is an independent poet, musician and storyteller with a passion for language and learning. When he’s not in front of a screen writing stories and poetry, he can be found working on his book review blog or developing his website, www.danecobain.com