This is not a happy day. We lost her today.
To quote Wordsworth, “but oh the difference to me”
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her right breast. It turned out to be a trick knee.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
I’m glad that beauty is only skin deep. Otherwise, I’d be rotten to the core.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
They say that housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
Be nice to your children because they will be the ones who will choose your rest home.
The reason there are no women football leagues is that 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Photos of me don’t do me justice. They just look like me.
The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.
Robert Redford once asked me out. I was in his room.