“Palladium” poem by Janet Kuypers


Janet Kuypers

from the “ Periodic Table of Poetry” series

“Have you ever been to the Palladium?”
He asked me,
so I asked, “The one in New York?”
“Oh, the Hollywood Palladium? No.”
But the thing is, after the success
of the Hollywood Palladium,
New York converted the Academy of Music
to the Palladium in ‘76,
there are Palladium theaters in San Antonio TX.,
St. Petersburg FL, Detroit MI,
High Point NC, even Worcester, MA.
Sorry I haven’t been.
I was actually thinking
about how as an element
Palladium is a rare and lustrous silvery-white metal
(like other other platinum group metals),
and although it is primarily used now
in catalytic converters, which convert
up to 90% of harmful gases from auto exhaust.
Palladium is also used to make
fine-art black-and-white prints,
and Palladium even plays a key role in technology
used for fuel cells, combining hydrogen and oxygen
to produce electricity, heat, and water.
And the thing is, Palladium has been used
for jewelry as a replacement for platinum…

You know, I think it would sound kind of cool
to say you have a diamond set
in a Palladium band
instead of a platinum one.

I mean, it would then have one more thing
to make it worth talking about….

Then he asked me,
“Would you rather have a Palladium diamond ring
or perform at the Hollywood Palladium?
And I thought about it for a second,
then answered,
“I’d rather perform at the Palladium.
The ring is just a thing
I could get at any time.”

Then I saw the news,
stating that platinum was about
to skyrocket in price,
and I thought,
“wait a minute,
now might be a good time
to get that Palladium jewelry,
before the price of Palladium
goes up too…”

Platinum poem by Janet Kuypers


Janet Kuypers

from the “ Periodic Table of Poetry” series

A secretary for a trading company
at the Chicago Board of Trade
started dating a trader
(even though he was a trader,
he seemed like a nice guy) —
and after he asked her to marry him
and they were engaged,
she cheating on him
by having an affair with a coworker.
They broke off their engagement
until he forgave her
and offered her an engagement ring
with a huge solitary diamond
in a thick Platinum setting.
Looking like white gold,
Platinum was more expensive,
so she was pleased
she got him to spend
more money on her.

Well, they married,
but within a few years
they were divorced.

It’s a shame that marriage
couldn’t last as long
as that Platinum engagement ring,
made out of one of the strongest
metal elements in the Periodic Table.

I wonder what they did with that ring.
I hope they returned it,
so a stronger couple
could better accentuate
that stronger Platinum ring
and be a better match for all time.

Because I know the Platinum Metal Group
elements are really strong and durable,
because Platinum’s been used in everything
from razor edges to prevent corrosion
to spark plugs, so they can be hotter
and have a longer life.

So yeah, because of Platinum’s
resistance to heat,
it makes sense that Platinum is used
in catalytic converters in cars too —
temporarily pulling the nitrogen
and carbon atoms from
nitrogen oxides and carbon monoxide
until they can re-bond
into water and less dangerous byproducts
for the environment.

Because Platinum can really stand the heat,
Platinum’s used for temperature detectors
and high-accuracy electronic thermometers,
and some parts that are launched into space
have been made out of Platinum
because they could not only
withstand the temperatures,
but also prevent corrosion,
so everything being blasted off into space
could stand everything
the Universe may throw at them.

So with Platinum being so resistant to corrosion,
it makes sense that Platinum parts
are in computers, and even in parts
for neurosurgery… I’ve even heard
(though I don’t know the details)
that Platinum may be used
in cancer medication too.
(Wow, that would be great to hear,
if Platinum could also possibly
help people with cancer…)

But when I mentioned Platinum
to someone recently,
the only thing they thought
it was for was
“wealth accumulation”.
And I thought, “For what?
Like buying gold bars?”
Because even though I see
“Cash for Gold” ads,
I haven’t seen people or places
making “Cash for Platinum” calls,
but wealth accumulation must be right,
it has a higher value than gold,
and as we’ve discovered,
it could also be strobng enough
for a wedding band
to truly withstand
the test of time.