{"id":7731,"date":"2021-05-16T21:46:11","date_gmt":"2021-05-16T21:46:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/?p=7731"},"modified":"2021-05-16T21:49:19","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T21:49:19","slug":"hidden-pain-before-2-poems-by-laura-stamps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/hidden-pain-before-2-poems-by-laura-stamps\/","title":{"rendered":"Hidden Pain & Before. 2 Poems by Laura Stamps"},"content":{"rendered":"

(i.)
\n 
\nHidden Pain
\n 
\nShe sleeps in a tree, the tallest tree
\nshe can find in this dark forest.
\nHere she feels safe, this place
\nwhere she no longer has to smile
\nand pretend the last three years never happened,
\nyears of chronic trauma caused
\nby four men, narcissists, who abandoned her
\nas collateral damage.
\n 
\nHow did it feel? Like terrorists
\nhad blown up her life. No time
\nto grieve. No time to heal.
\nToo much to do. Too much to clean up.
\nYet none of those men apologized.
\nAnd one had the nerve to say,
\nI\u2019m sorry about what I did to you,
\nbut you\u2019re strong. I knew
\nyou\u2019d land on your feet.<\/em>
\n 
\nWas that the best he could do?
\nWell, at least now she knew
\nnarcissists are just terrorists in disguise.
\n 
\nI couldn\u2019t tell anyone<\/em>, she whispered
\nto the tree. There was no time.
\nI had to repair the damage. Be strong.
\nBe strong.
\nBe strong.
\nNo one knew what had happened.
\nWhat it did to me. What they did to me.
\nNo one knew. I should have told someone.
\nAnyone.
\nBut I didn\u2019t. <\/em>
\n 
\nNow she spends her nights with a tree.
\nTwo kindred spirits.
\nIts branches lifted high. Her arms raised.
\nBoth of them reaching for the sky,
\nreaching,
\nreaching,
\nas if they might drown. But only
\none of them knows
\nshe\u2019s sinking.
\n 
\n(ii)
\n 
\nBefore
\n 
\n1.
\nBefore her life blew sky-high
\nshe had goals, dreams, hope, and a future.
\nA bright one. Her future.
\nBut that was before four men
\nentered her world with their drama, mistakes,
\ndestruction, and left her behind
\nto fix the damage.
\nIn the midst of this, her future vanished.
\nIt\u2019s not that the future looked bleak.
\nIt just wasn\u2019t there anymore.
\nShe couldn\u2019t see it. No dreams,
\nno goals, no hope. No future.
\nHer future.
\nGone.
\nAll that remained was a vast blank
\nspace that used to be called FUTURE.
\n 
\n2.
\nEvery day she felt herself slipping, sinking,
\ndeeper into that void. Its emptiness plagued her.
\nIts hopelessness. It haunted her.
\nAnd it hurt.
\nMore than she ever imagined.
\nWhere is the woman who eagerly achieved
\nher goals, chased her dreams, hoped
\nin a sunny future?
\nShe vanished, too. Gone.
\n 
\n3.
\nGo back!
\nGo back to before.
\nBefore those men. Before their damage.
\nGo back! Look at the future before.
\nWhat nourished her hope? Before, before.
\nGo back!
\nWhat were her goals? What were her dreams?
\nPursue them again. Go back!
\nWhat were the things that gave her joy before?
\nDo them again. And again.
\nAnd again.
\nGo back! Go back to before. The future
\nwaits. To begin, to begin.
\nMaybe then they can be friends again.
\n 
\n 
\n 
\n\"\"<\/a>
\n 
\nBIO: Laura Stamps is a poet and the author of several chapbooks, including IN THE GARDEN<\/strong> and TUNING OUT<\/strong>. Her poetry book THE YEAR OF THE CAT<\/strong> was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize (2005). She is also the recipient of seven Pushcart Prize nominations. Currently, Laura is working on a new chapbook of poems about PTSD and chronic trauma. You can find her www.laurastampspoetry.blogspot.com <\/a> & on Twitter at @LauraStamps16.
\n 
\n 
\n 
\n 
\n 
\n 
\nRobin Ouzman Hislop is Editor of Poetry Life and Times<\/a> at Artvilla.com <\/a>; You may visit Aquillrelle.com\/Author Robin Ouzman Hislop <\/a> about author & https:\/\/poetrylifeandtimes.com<\/a> See Robin performing his work Performance (University of Leeds)<\/a> <\/p>\n

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(i.)   Hidden Pain   She sleeps in a tree, the tallest tree she can find in this dark forest. Here she feels safe, this place where she no longer has to smile and pretend the last three years never happened, years of chronic trauma caused by four men, narcissists, who abandoned her as collateral …