{"id":2765,"date":"2014-07-02T20:08:20","date_gmt":"2014-07-02T20:08:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/?p=2765"},"modified":"2019-02-11T06:34:06","modified_gmt":"2019-02-11T06:34:06","slug":"the-daddy-poem-series-i-vii-by-janet-p-caldwell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/the-daddy-poem-series-i-vii-by-janet-p-caldwell\/","title":{"rendered":"The Daddy Poem Series (i.-vii.) by Janet P. Caldwell."},"content":{"rendered":"

 
\n 
\nJanet P. Caldwell is currently the COO of Inner Child, ltd., Humanitarian, Reiki Master, Poet, Published Author, 5 degrees to separation, Passages and Dancing Toward the Light . . . The Journey Continues, many anthologies, magazines and more. To read more of Janet’s work please visit the links below.
\n 
\nwww.janetcaldwell.com\/
\n<\/a> 
\nwww.innerchildpress.com\/janet-p-caldwell.php<\/a>
\n 
\nwww.facebook.com\/JanetPCaldwell
\n<\/a> 
\n 
\n(i.)<\/strong>
\n 
\n5 degrees to separation
\n 
\nI learned to count early
\nRead the bible too
\nWrath, punishment
\nSeemed no absolution
\nSeparate at five
\n 
\nIn the morning
\nWhen I was defiled
\nFive screams a minute
\nFive shiny points from
\nThe glass shards
\n 
\nFive fingers, to check off
\nAs I calculate
\nIn five minutes I’m clean
\nand new
\nSeparated by five degrees
\n 
\nFive from what I don’t want
\nTo remember, anything green
\nBlack or brown
\nMake it easier
\nFive letters\/numbers are my friends
\n 
\nThe ceiling fan;
\nWood, glass, white, brown, brass
\nAnother set of quints
\nA quick escape
\nWhen I should need one
\n 
\nMy rabbit hole with
\nBack-doors aplenty
\nFive senses all shut down
\nI’ve got good and can count
\nBefore what might happen
\n 
\nSafe in numbers, hidden
\nWhen I separate from myself.
\n 
\n\u00a92001-2014 Janet Caldwell
\n 
\n 
\n(ii.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nWeep for the Child that Never Was
\n 
\nTears fall down my face
\nfor a child with no name
\nA child filled with anguish
\nsuffering disgrace.
\n 
\nHow could they have lied
\nand treated her so
\nWhy didn\u2019t they love her
\njust let her go?
\n 
\nBuy her new clothes
\nfill her with song
\nMess her up more
\nyou can\u2019t be wrong!
\n 
\nShe grew up with walls
\nforever all around
\nThe music you played
\nshe couldn\u2019t hear a sound.
\n 
\nYou look at her now
\nwith disgust in your eyes
\nYou can\u2019t see her though
\nshe wears a disguise.
\n 
\nHand-made by you
\nso carefully sewn
\nWith coagulated drops
\nall her own.
\n 
\nYou thought that you knew her
\nbut there\u2019s no way that you could
\nShe\u2019s not what you think
\nbehind the mask stained with blood.
\n 
\n\u00a9 Janet Caldwell 2001 \u2013 2014
\n 
\n 
\n(iii.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nDaddy # 2
\n 
\nI Remember him
\n 
\nGlassy blue eyes
\nFingertips brown
\nBlack greasy hair
\nForehead high
\nChild killer
\nSick bastard
\n \u00a0
\nI Remember me
\nScuttling like a rat
\nRunning from a cat
\nScattering across the tile
\n 
\nLike a roach on fire
\nWhen the lights came on
\nBetter scatter, Daddy\u2019s home!
\n 
\nI Remember (s\u00e9ances)
\nStraddling his head
\nThe Shoulders so high
\nCalling up the dead
\nPeering in the sky
\nLet the dead arise
\nIt\u2019ll stop Daddy\u2019s cries.
\n \u00a0
\nI Remember Abuse
\nDancing to the belt
\nThat beat me blue
\nDecorated with welts
\n 
\nDaddy, I Remember You
\n 
\n\u00a9 Janet P. Caldwell 2003 -2014
\n 
\n 
\n(iv.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nChild’s Lament
\n 
\nI assume you\u2019d say that I\u2019m
\nAs beautiful as I was when I was six.
\nI think \u2026 (I\u2019m jinxed)
\nMother Dear, what do you think of me now?
\n 
\nI really must know\u2026 I\u2019m lost.
\nDid I say that I miss you?
\nI\u2019m sorry if I haven\u2019t.
\nI feel like Anne. Always have.
\n 
\nDid my beauty transpire when, I cooked your
\nSupper? Was I special when
\nYour sick fuck of a husband
\nMolested me? Made it easy for you,
\nwell, answer me?
\n 
\n(If only in my mind, for my mind, I’m losing my mind . . . again)
\n 
\nTell me, Mother, I want
\nTo understand. (Significance?)
\nMyself, a wisp of value
\nI don\u2019t have far to go.
\n 
\nIt\u2019s an indistinct trail, but
\nI try. Just explain it, please.
\nI forgive you.
\nEveryday.
\n 
\nAnd I will
\nI promise.
\nAll the way to the grave.
\nCan you help me now???
\n 
\n\u00a92002 – 2014 Janet Caldwell
\n 
\n 
\n(v.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nSugar & Spice
\n 
\nHey, Pom Pom girl, swingy
\nRed and blue, shake it
\nShake it, cheer so loud
\nUntil the acid bleeds your throat
\n 
\nGreen eyes glaze and glisten
\nSmiling through the bile
\nYou pretty little thing
\nFor everyone to see, but
\nIf they only knew, and could
\nSee the scars beneath
\n 
\nThe make-up, the crafted image
\nThey wouldn’t be jealous
\nNow would they Blondie
\nSurely not of you?
\n 
\nYou’re all grown now
\nIf you believe a calendar
\nHiding in a house, in plain
\nSight, an icon for everything nice
\nAnd all that spice, so spice that nice
\n 
\nBut tell me, what the
\nHell happened to you?
\nA funny thing, frequent
\nThoughts of suicide
\nA whispered middle-aged craze
\nStill hip, staying in style
\n 
\nYou’re still pretty, my silly girl
\nEven with your head
\nCrammed in the toilet bowl
\n 
\nWhen did it stop being easy to cheer?
\nAs you count the vomit chunks
\nRegurgitate love, empty
\nYour soiled soul.
\n 
\nFeeling better now?
\nNo, I didn’t think you would
\nHow about a pill? You know
\nThat you can’t drink
\nToo many calories to consume
\nRemember? Pissing in the sink
\n 
\nI’ve been around, seen
\nEverything you’ve done
\nThe things that you can’t handle
\nI saw you scrub and scrub.
\n 
\nWipe at the dingy stains
\nFrom his dirty love, that stench
\nPerfume won’t hide.
\n 
\nYou had to find a way
\nTo survive the attentions
\nOf an unconvicted felon
\nThat uncircumcised bastard
\nWho brought dinner home
\n 
\nYou do it still you know
\nThose little tricks and games
\nRecount the vomit chunks
\none-two-three-four-five
\n 
\nHurry, hurry, hurry
\nThat filthy secret’s visible
\nFlush, flush, flush!!!!!!
\n 
\nTidily out of sight, out of mind
\nYour filth is in the sewer
\nA safe-deposit box
\nFor unwanted truths
\n 
\nSo you can facade the day
\n 
\n\u00a9 Janet Caldwell 2002-2014
\n 
\n 
\n(vi.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nFather Figure
\n 
\nWhen Daddy bellowed, I couldn\u2019t hear.
\nThe octaves were past my recognition,
\ndecibels too strong for understanding,
\nall finer points disappeared.
\nI recall being tired, taking care of the family.
\nI was ten and close to breaking, didn\u2019t
\nneed his yelling, or the strap that cut. It\u2019ll
\nbe over soon, bleed girl, just bleed.
\n 
\nI was fortunate, so very cared for in
\npublic, what was my problem?
\n\u201cNothing, nothing\u201d, I said, needing to
\nshow deference, defiance and not dread.
\nThe piss in my bladder burned, needing release.
\n 
\nI reached for the gun, shoved it in my mouth.
\nThe taste of oiled metal gagged me. Why
\nshould I suffer? Twisted the way shit can work.
\nIt\u2019s him, the hateful bastard needs to go
\n 
\nD
\nO
\nW
\nN
\n 
\nGoing once, going twice.
\nGone, I peed. Release.
\n 
\nJanet Caldwell 2001-2014
\n 
\n 
\n(vii.)<\/strong>
\n 
\nFirst Haircut
\n 
\nWith her thin lips
\nshe kissed Daddy
\ngood morning.
\n 
\nShe hated the sight,
\nthe stale smell of him
\nand abhorred the facade.
\n 
\nMadness surrounded those
\nat 223 Deepwood Drive;
\nresidential death.
\n 
\nAt seven her mother was
\nworking. Daddy had to get
\nthe girl ready for school.
\n 
\nCursing, he broke a comb,
\ntrying to get it through
\nher waist length hair.
\n 
\nWith a movement
\nthat would startle the
\ncomatose,
\n 
\nDaddy grabbed a butcher
\nknife and ambled over to
\nher chair.
\n(1-2-3-4-5)
\n 
\nShe faced the wall, lined up the tiles,
\nattempting purple dreams.
\nThrottled screams, burgeoning walls
\nshe could direct into tile accounting.
\n 
\nShe closed her eyes tight now,
\ncontinued keeping ceramic book,
\nand waited.
\n 
\nTerror filled like before,
\nwould he kill her
\nor beat her this time?
\n 
\nHer mind raced and flashed
\nto past images.
\nWhen spittle flecked her face,
\nwelts and blood
\ndecorated her ass.
\n 
\nAn old waltz\u2026
\nA dance that never ended pleasantly.
\nGrabbing her blond swirls in his nicotine
\nfist.
\n 
\nHe muttered and sawed her spirit,
\nand hair, up to
\nJanet\u2019s tiny neck.
\n 
\nHer tresses had been one of the few things
\nshe liked about herself. The hair
\nonce wrapped around her like satin
\ncomfort.
\n 
\nIt made her feel safe at 3AM.
\nCount girl count. (1-2-3-4-5\u2026)
\nAnother piece of the child died,
\npiled on the kitchen floor.
\n 
\nJanet Caldwell 2001-2014
\n 
\n 
\n\"janet<\/a><\/p>\n

Janet P. Caldwell Bio
\n 
\nJanet wrote her first poems and short stories in an old diary where she noted her daily thoughts. She wrote whether suffering, joyful or hoping for peace in the world. She started this process at the tender age of Eight. This was long before journaling was in vogue. Along with her thoughts, poetry and stories, she drew what she refers to as Hippie flowers. Janet still to this day embraces the Sixties and Seventies flower power symbol, of peace and love, which are a very important part of her consciousness.
\n 
\nJanet wrote her first book, in those unassuming diaries, never to be seen by the light of day due to an unfortunate house fire. This did not deter her drive. She then opted for a new batch of composition journals and filled everyone. In the early nineteen-eighties, Janet held a byline in a small newspaper in Denton, Texas while working full time, being a Mother and attending Night School.
\n 
\nSince the early days Janet has been published in newspapers, magazines, and books globally. She also has enjoyed being the feature on numerous occasions, both in Magazines, Radio and on Several Web Sites. She has gone on to publish three books. 5 degrees to separation 2003, Passages 2012 and her latest book Dancing Toward the Light . . . the journey continues 2013. She is currently editing her 4th book, written and to be published 2014. All of her Books are available through Inner Child Press along with Fine Book Stores Globally.
\n 
\nJanet P. Caldwell is also the Chief Operating Officer of Inner Child<\/em> www.iaminnerchild.com\/<\/a>, which includes Inner Child\u2019s Ning Social Site<\/em> innerchild.ning.com\/, Inner Child Newspaper<\/em> paper.li\/1innerchild\/1326347159<\/a>, Inner Child Magazine<\/em> www.innerchildmagazine.com\/<\/a>, Inner Child Radio<\/em> www.blogtalkradio.com\/inner-child-radio<\/a> and The Inner Child Press Publishing Company<\/em> www.innerchildpress.com\/<\/a>.
\nTo find out more about Janet, you may visit her web-site, Face-book Fan Page and her Author page at Inner Child Press.<\/strong>
\n 
\n 
\n 
\nrobin@artvilla.com<\/a>
\n<\/strong>www.facebook.com\/PoetryLifeTimes<\/a><\/p>\n

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    Janet P. Caldwell is currently the COO of Inner Child, ltd., Humanitarian, Reiki Master, Poet, Published Author, 5 degrees to separation, Passages and Dancing Toward the Light . . . The Journey Continues, many anthologies, magazines and more. To read more of Janet’s work please visit the links below.   www.janetcaldwell.com\/   www.innerchildpress.com\/janet-p-caldwell.php … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2768,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56,43],"tags":[18,136,3,220],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2765"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2765"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2765\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6793,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2765\/revisions\/6793"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}