{"id":228,"date":"2013-01-10T17:26:26","date_gmt":"2013-01-10T17:26:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/?p=228"},"modified":"2013-01-28T18:57:46","modified_gmt":"2013-01-28T18:57:46","slug":"shards-poem-gillian-stokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/shards-poem-gillian-stokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Shards.Poem.Gillian Stokes."},"content":{"rendered":"

Hard words like bullets hit me<\/strong><\/p>\n

searing comments tear my skin<\/strong><\/p>\n

mute me , take away my power<\/strong><\/p>\n

your anger flails me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

With one word your scorn burns me<\/strong><\/p>\n

knocks me to the ground<\/strong><\/p>\n

wounds me deeply<\/strong><\/p>\n

searing my soul<\/strong><\/p>\n

killing me<\/strong><\/p>\n

slowly<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

and it never heals<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am wound upon wound<\/strong><\/p>\n

scar upon scar, building up<\/strong><\/p>\n

layer upon hurting layer<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

somewhere\u00a0 inside deep inside<\/strong><\/p>\n

in a tiny dark little corner<\/strong><\/p>\n

my soul lies curled , furled<\/strong><\/p>\n

amoeba like<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

you say you know me , do you know me ?<\/strong><\/p>\n

how?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know me,\u00a0 I know\u00a0 a thousand me\u2019s<\/strong><\/p>\n

I act<\/strong><\/p>\n

every day I act out a thousand personas<\/strong><\/p>\n

trying to find the one that fits the moment<\/strong><\/p>\n

trying to find the one that pleases the world,<\/strong><\/p>\n

you, myself, friends<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

sometimes I reflect back what is shown to me, thrown at me<\/strong><\/p>\n

good or bad<\/strong><\/p>\n

aggressive or loud<\/strong><\/p>\n

weak, soft ,emotional<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe it works better being \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

if I reflect you then<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe you will like it better<\/strong><\/p>\n

if I am more you than me<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

but these people aren\u2019t me<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

they are all just shards of the mirror of me<\/strong><\/p>\n

that’s fracturing with the pain of my life<\/strong><\/p>\n

my hurt , my sorrows, my tears<\/strong><\/p>\n

my wastes, my losses, my losing<\/strong><\/p>\n

my cheating myself<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

she\u2019s crying out that child, that soul<\/strong><\/p>\n

that me\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

she\u2019s not gone forever<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I see glimpses of her all the time<\/strong><\/p>\n

when I push aside the debris<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

most times though I leave her be<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe to protect\u00a0 her\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe because she is so long gone<\/strong><\/p>\n

such a distant memory<\/strong><\/p>\n

that I am losing the reality of her<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe cos I still don\u2019t know who<\/strong><\/p>\n

I want to be when I grow up<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

maybe cos it\u2019s easier to blitz out,<\/strong><\/p>\n

avoid, compartmentalize, be the me<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am in the given moment, just exist<\/strong><\/p>\n

respond \/ react, just do what is expected<\/strong><\/p>\n

damp down the little sparks, one moment, over-react the next<\/strong><\/p>\n

anesthetize, avoid , procrastinate,<\/strong><\/p>\n

be mundane<\/strong><\/p>\n

just exist<\/strong><\/p>\n

just be an amoeba<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

so who is the amoeba now, her or me<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

but she won\u2019t leave me alone this soul<\/strong><\/p>\n

of mine<\/strong><\/p>\n

she has a siren\u2019s\u00a0 call, this Pandora soul of<\/strong><\/p>\n

mine.<\/strong><\/p>\n

She cries to me for release<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

do I let her out ?<\/strong><\/p>\n

do I dare<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

who will\u00a0 love her, hate her the most<\/strong><\/p>\n

you or me?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

will we<\/strong><\/p>\n

can we<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

accept her<\/strong><\/p>\n

allow her?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

do you care?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Copyright\u00a0 \u00a9 Gillian Stokes\u00a0 31 May 2009<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share and Enjoy !<\/h3>
<\/i><\/span>Shares<\/small><\/div>
<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span>\n<\/i><\/a><\/span>\n<\/i><\/a><\/span>\n<\/i><\/a><\/span>\n<\/i><\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/i><\/a><\/span>\n<\/i><\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hard words like bullets hit me searing comments tear my skin mute me , take away my power your anger flails me. With one word your scorn burns me knocks me to the ground wounds me deeply searing my soul killing me slowly \u00a0 and it never heals \u00a0 I am wound upon wound scar … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=228"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":307,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions\/307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artvilla.com\/plt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}