this one is posted on Allpoetry Poetry Network: Poetry contributions by the Can.to artist network to absolutely incredible reviews by other poets, i thought you might wish to take a look at it...
i must warn you before you read this poem, i am not sure if this is a true memory, or a representation of the thoughts and feelings i had on nov 13, 2000 upon my return from the funeral and burial of my wife, at this moment, 5:30 mdt 10-17-01, it is only 75 hours old, i see no need to revise it, since it's had such incredible reviews from much more experienced poets than i.....
The Most Horrible Morning
When I got back, from thereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
That night, I couldn't sleepÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
I told you, "I love you."
But you didn't respondÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Why notÃ¢â‚¬Â¦?
Weren't you there?
I thought I touched your shoulderÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Was that your voice, saying, "I love you"?
Is that you, in the moonlight?
Was that your hand, that touched me?
What am I thinking?
Perhaps, when I sleep tonight,
I'll wake in the morning,
I'll realize the last few days were nothing more,
Than a horrible nightmareÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
SleepÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ come over meÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Let me finish this nightmare,
And you'll be hereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Close eyesÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ sleep comeÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ finish this nightmareÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
So I can wake in the morning,
And she'll be hereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
And the last few days,
Are just that, the most horrible nightmare
Anyone has ever hadÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Sleep comesÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ I thinkÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Is this a dream?
I love youÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Why don't you respond?
Oh no, is it morning already?
I feel for you in the bedÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Where are you?
Did you wake before me?
Yes, that's it, you're out making coffeeÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Let me go lookÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ "Honey, where are you?
Oh yeah, you went into work last nightÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Why don't I remember that though...?
What's this? Flowers?
I don't remember buying you flowers,
Especially this freshÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Where did they come fromÃ¢â‚¬Â¦?
Oh, there's a cardÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Maybe that'll remind meÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
What's this on the card?
NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ OH, NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
The card saysÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ PLEASEÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
It's not possibleÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
You're hereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ you're just at workÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ RightÃ¢â‚¬Â¦?
The card says:
"in sympathyÃ¢â‚¬Â¦" NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦. PLEASE NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
It can't beÃ¢â‚¬Â¦.
These last few days, were nothing,
More than a nightmareÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ RIGHT?
OH MY GODÃ¢â‚¬Â¦. NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
They wereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ weren't they?
SLEEPÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ COME BACK TO MEÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Nightmare, come backÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Let her be here, when I wakeÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Suddenly, the phone ringsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Is it you?
A woman's voice saysÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
but it's not your voiceÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
"can I do anything for you?
I'm so sorryÃ¢â‚¬Â¦"
Oh my GODÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ it can't beÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ It can't be trueÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
But it isÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
She'll be here in a few minutesÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
There's a knock on the doorÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Why did you knock? You live hereÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
That's it, you forgot your keyÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
But, it's a friend of oursÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ It's not youÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Please don't make me open the doorÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
BecauseÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ if I doÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
It can only meanÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ One of two thingsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Either the two of us shared the same nightmare,
OrÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ please NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
That's not possibleÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
What's that forlorn look on her face?
OH MY GODÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
If that's not possibleÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
Then that meansÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
That horrible nightmare, was no nightmareÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
The memoryÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ the memoryÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ isÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ realÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
OH MY GODÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ NOÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
My wifeÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ diedÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ inÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ myÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ armsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
© Jonathan Wikkins
All Rights Reserved
(my pen name)
real name, Mike Shurtleff