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Now You’re Nothing To Me 2010

Janet Kuypers
(poetry converted to prose)

    Love is like tap water. Free flowing... Remember when you were little, just put a glass under the faucet quench your thirst?
    Wait a minute, it’s not like that. Water isn’t free, you even have to pay for the water in your own home, and it’s not even clean. What you’re getting is dirty, and you still have to pay for it.
    You know, they say us humans are like seventy-five percent water... And when I think of you and all the time we were together...
    Well, if you’re seventy-five percent water, I have to remember that it wasn’t pure and clean and clear, and if this is love, and this was you, it wasn’t free. I’m still paying for it.
    When I now think of you, the fact that you made me feel like nothing... And when I think of what you now mean to me, when I think of what you’re made of... I have to remember:
    We’re all made of atoms. Protons and neutrons wound tightly together in the nucleus, apparently infinitely small, surrounded at a comparatively vast distance by occasional tiny electrons spinning around, keeping their distance... almost like fluff.
    In a way, you’re like that electron, you know. Spinning around but keeping your distance.
    But when I think of you I have to remember that you’re made of those atoms, with really tiny cores... And those atoms are so filled with space that you’re mostly made of nothing.
    When I think of you, this is what I have to remind myself.
    When I think of the nothingness you made me feel, and the fact that you now mean nothing to me, this is how I have to think of you.

Chicago poet Janet Kuypers
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