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praying to idols

every once in a while i question whether or not there is a god. but i changed my mind - i thought i have found him.
he had dark hair, almost black (just like a god should), and he had these blue eyes - not just blue, almost white, so light they look like glass and you could almost see right through them.
and could i see right through you if you gave me the chance?
i’d clasp my rosary necklace and pray to the right gods (and wouldn’t they be you) and i’d let the necklace drape over my shoulders around my neck, and i’d let the rosary fall between my breasts and you would forgive me that much more for my sins.
how many hail marys would you want me to say, i’d ask.
i cannot believe i have seen you and i have talked to you - and does everyone get to see their god like this, and does everyone remember?
why do you have to be my god? why did i have to see you and talk to you...and realize how young you are, and realize how inexperienced you are (i mean, you’re supposed to be the god you’re supposed to be teaching ME)?
is this what people think when their gods let them down (did you let me down or did i just never know what i was looking for)? is this what people think when they realize they are only praying to idols - what then?




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Chicago poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.

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