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Here’s your chance, 2005

09-09-98, turned to prose 09-12-

05 Sometimes the most unconscionable things happen in life. Or I fuss I should say “my life,” but then I’d sound like I was complaining. So I have to keep it all to myself, and I just have to take all of the crap that is dished out to me all the time, and then when I wat to let my anger out, no one wants to take the time to listen to me, or even act like they’re listening to me. I kept my life a secret from the rest of the world for so many years, and now that I feel I have to let out my emotions, even if I'm not talking about my disgust with everything in the world that is so wrong, well then, then no one wants to take the time to be there for me. They’d rather yell back instead of attempt to make any attempts to help me. That’s my luck. I should just get used to it, that’s what the world does to me, everyone would rather rather kick me when I’m down. Well, I’m down now. This is your chance. Go nuts.
I have been told all of my life by certain people, usually the ones that should be considered the smart ones, well, I’ve been told all of my life that I should talk more and I should get over my problems and that things will get better when I least expect it. Well, things aren’t better, things are just getting worse, and no one can help me through this pain or this anger, and I want to change so many things in mt life and no one will let me make any attempts to make my life better. If I’m supposed to make a difference in my life and I’m also not allowed to change a god-damned thing in my life either, then I suppose I should just tell you all that this is your chance and you can do with me what you will.
Nobody knows how to live a life nowadays.

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