[the Writing of Kuypers][JanetKuypers.com][Bio][Poems][Prose]


A Lifetime Together 2005

started 10-24-98, added to 12-01-98, turned to prose 09-12-05

We were supposed to spend a lifetime together. That’s what we talked about. We were supposed to be happy together
You mentioned a place, I said I wanted to go there for my honeymoon and you agreed. I can think about all the things you said to me and I can think about all the lies you told me they’re all beginning to run into one another, you know. I can think about how we would act like a couple when we were playing pool at the local bar I think of how we didn’t look like tourists.
When, in a way, we were.
You got me next to nothing for my birthday that year. Well, I was there, you had to get me something, you thought...
I can think about the flowers you were supposed to get me, how it would have been good to be able to tell my friends that i’m seeing someone so they wouldn’t think i’d be alone all my life.
I can think about how you would shower me with attention or how you’d tell people about me, she’s a great girl, you’d say.
I’m sure that’s what you’d say.
I wanted to feel your hand touch my face. I wanted to get a sign from you.
Any sign.
So have a happy life, I think when I think of all the people who said they cared but didn’t. I thought when someone said they cared they meant it and feelings like that aren’t supposed to change at the drop of a hat. When does it occur to the average man that there is in fact no feeling there, and that maybe there never WAS?
Maybe you just think I’m going to have to end this maybe she won’t get hurt. Well, in case no one ever told you women do get hurt.
Even the strong ones.
It’s really easy for me to say that I didn’t care about you, that I knew all along that you lied to me. So whether or not I feel that way is irrelevant right now because I’m supposed to be over you because I’m supposed to not care
Whether or not I’m the strong one.

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Chicago poet Janet Kuypers
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