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Koi Ponds and Concrete

Janet Kuypers

I need a new place,
some hole in the wall
I can call my own —

what am I saying, a home
that’s a hole in the wall —
I want the best I can get...

So before I saw this one place,
they told me I’d either
love it or hate it.

So I saw the home
with painted marble walls,
a 30 foot tall living room wall.

And I mean, the back yard
even had tropical plants
and a bridge spanning

over one of two fully stocked
koi ponds. Yeah, You heard me
right. The place had Koi ponds.

So yeah, on first glance
I loved the place, so now
it’s time to do a little research —

sure, it was in my price range,
but a trailer park
is right across the street.

And come to think of it,
there are probably tons
of code violations

with the koi ponds, where the
plastic retention water tanks
were labeled “hazardous materials”.

And speaking of code violations,
all of the windows
had metal gratings on them —

isn’t that a fire department
violation? And why did they
have those metal gratings anyway?

Then I was told
the neighbors were isolationists
who didn’t take too kindly

to strangers (who’d probably have
no problem with killing people
for “violating personal space”).

The more I think about it,
the more afraid I get
when after they tell me

the house was owned
by a single man, that I found
one closet half filled

with women’s formal dresses,
and the only thing in their attic
was a set of heavy restraints.

And half the back yard
was covered in concrete
(which at first sounds great

when you have no lawn mower),
but if you test that concrete yard,
can you find hollow spots?

I’m beginning to think
that at some point
the cops will bust in

with their warrants
and concrete crushers
to search for dead bodies.

Now, as I said, I was looking
for some hole in the wall
I can call my home —

but I don’t want cops
digging holes in my home.
Because this home should be

MY hole in the wall,
and I don’t want to find
dead bodies everywhere

unless I put them there myself.

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