Realised today
I don't have a single friend,
sister or brother,
to talk to mother,
but I can't burden you with this.
Realised I count many
but cannot count on one to trust, to be gentle
with my heart, yet true --
and strong.
Realise I long to sit
with stars on grass
and touch, not legs or arms
but spirits, to build not harm
Realise I'm alone, not lonely,
surviving, not living,
refusing to blame myself
for not accepting.
I Realise I'm too cold to trust.