SUPER GUEST
I love to party but I'm depressed
since invitations seldom come.
Don't you know I'm a super guest,
and hardly ever, troublesome.
Learned decorum from the start,
my house breaking really shows.
I say excuse me when I fart
and turn my head, to pick my nose.
In groups, I listen so polite
and laugh at jokes I've heard before
When parties drag into the night
though I might nap, I never snore.
At meals, I always clean my plate
and use my saucer when I smoke.
I tell the cook, the food was great,
which didn't cause his guests to choke.
At weddings, I bring down the house,
my parodies of brides are great!
In Church, I'm quiet as a mouse
snipping bucks from the offering plate.
At functions where the fancy meet,
I always clap, should someone sing.
I help them out, clap out the beat,
or show the band the way to swing.
If you would plan a grand soiree
with no amusements planned as yet,
I will attend and make the day
one all your guests will not forget.