"All quite at 3: am..."

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I have spent years perfecting my surrender.
Searching for the one love to fill my old wound,
after all these years I feel the dissolution.
My loneliness is a recurring nightmare scene
pain it seems - prefers you awakened from your sleep;
"I didn’t recognize you
            in my tea leaves at 3: am..."

I have spent years perfecting my surrender.
Now my body obeys its own variable patterns
at times I think I am too old for lightening to happen;
pain it seems - prefers you awakened from your sleep
and my dry old tears
            will not bring back a life.

I have spent years perfecting my surrender.
You said to find another that I need a woman by my side,
has your death coloured my eyes blurring my mind.
If this is so I will be forever invisible in the night
pain it seems - prefers you awakened from your sleep;
drinking warm tea or coffee
            looking up for her - as I write.