to my dear husband,
i have unscrewed my breasts
and placed them in a velvet-lined box
next to your easy chair
so you can easily reach them
when you need to keep your hands busy
don’t smoke your pipe at the same time!
my vagina is in a zip-lock freezer bag
next to the chicken legs
don’t let it stay on the counter too long
or it might turn bad and get you very sick
and remember not to overcook it
you know how you hate dried up meat!
my buttocks are on the dining room table
they look so nice sitting on the gold leaf platter
your mother gave us for a wedding gift
my blood is in the matching gravy boat
don’t use too much salt!
you have never been concerned
about my mind or my heart
so we don’t need to bother ourselves
with those pesky things just now
when you’re finished, make sure everything
is back in its proper place
and please take out the trash
you know how i hate a messy house!